Laugh
by twitch and spaz
Summary: It was his darkest fear and worst nightmare. People laughing, ridiculing him. They always did but they always came to regret it. But he never thought he'd see the day when she would laugh at him. HaruxTohru One Shot


**Laugh**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. I want to own Hatsuharu though, but I guess ya can't get everything you want. Sigh.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this One-Shot! Please remember to review when finished!! Thank you.**

**One-Shot**

**Chapter 1:**

**Haru's POV:**

I quickly walked down the sidewalk, shoving my hands into my white coat pockets. I let out a long sigh, trying to calm the raging fury inside me. It would not do well to go black two times in a single day.

'_That fucking teacher… he doesn't know anything.'_ I thought, inwardly seething. Where in the world did the school find these people? Mental institutions? Well, it was enough to make me snap.

"_Sohma Hatsuharu, can you tell me what scientific notation is?" my math teacher, Yatsuda-san, asked me with a hint of an arrogant smirk on his face._

_I scowled but remained calm. This guy hated me even since I trashed his classroom a few months ago. He was just trying to get to me, that's all. _

_I just stared directly ahead, nonplussed. I didn't know the answer and wouldn't even bother guessing. I'm horrible at math, anyway. My eyes flickered over to my teacher's cocky, bespectacled ones._

"_No." I responded, deadpanned._

_The man's smirk grew wider. "Well, I guess I can't be surprised. Okay, do you know what a prime number is?" his very tone was mocking._

_I tensed, clenching my fists underneath my desk. I could feel Momiji's concerned gaze burning into my back but I ignored it. 'This damn guy better watch it…' I could feel the past week's frustrations already beginning to take their toll._

"_Any number, Sohma?" he asked incredulously as the entire classroom exploded in laughter._

_Akito's words echoed in my ears. He had the same amused smirk on his face, the same condescending look in his eyes. "You're the dumb ox." He chuckled dryly. "Of course everyone laughs at you. How stupid you are not to realize that… poor Hatsuharu."_

_The laughter replayed in the dark corners of my mind, awakening my black self. _

_I glared venomously at the prick but all he did was narrow his eyes on me like I was some kind of… idiot._

"_I can't expect much from a thug who destroys school property, can I?"_

Needless to say, I snapped completely. I couldn't help it, my anger made my black side take over. I almost broke his jaw. It was a good thing Momiji stopped me before I went too far… For now, the high school suspended me for a week.

Tch, so much for a relaxing walk around the town, it's not doing anything to help. What I need is a distraction…

"Hatsuharu-san?!"

I looked up sharply and saw the girl standing there outside a building entrance. I stared into warm blue eyes, brown hair, and an ever-present smile on her face. I nodded to her in return.

"Tohru." I replied in greeting, walking up to her.

'_Maybe this is just what I needed.'_ I thought, studying the girl intently through my vacant gaze.

She pushed back hair from her face as she looked up at me worriedly. "I… I heard what happened in school… Are- Are you okay, Hatsuharu-san?"

I sighed, shaking my head. "I'm not in the mood to talk about it."

"Oh! Well, if you want to you can talk to me. Unless you would rather talk to anyone else, there's no reason why you shouldn't…" I cracked a slight smirk at her nervous rambling, it was so _Tohru._

"Thanks." I cut her off easily.

She bit her lip in concern but nodded, smiling up at me again. I stared wordlessly at her for a few moments but then caught myself and looked away. I didn't like how my stomach always gave on odd lurch when I kept my gaze on her too long. It was unnerving, her smile.

'_No wonder so many Sohmas like her… who couldn't?'_

"Did you just get off work?" I asked, looking up at the building she previously exited.

"Yup!" she responded cheerfully.

"I'll walk you home." I said apathetically as she just blinked up at me.

"No! That's really not necessary! I wouldn't want to trouble you or anything." Tohru hastily amended, but I sent her a stern glance.

"It's nighttime. It's not safe for young girls to be walking around alone. It is the man's responsibility to take them home and ensure a safe journey." I leaned in closer to her, locking gazes.

"You'll let me do my job, right?" I lightly threatened, amused at the way her blue eyes widened and a pink blush covered her cheeks.

"Of course! Um, if you want to, that is." she bowed her head mutely.

I nodded, smirking at her and walked away with her right beside me. As we went down the busy sidewalk, I asked her more questions to distract myself.

"Don't Kyo or Yuki usually walk you home?" I inquired, thinking this was the normal routine in their household.

"Yes!" she said, looking back up at me again. "But Yuki had a club meeting and Kyo needed to go to the dojo after school. It's really no problem, walking home by myself. I don't want to be a bother to anyone."

"You're not." I answered automatically as she beamed up at me with that bright smile of hers.

'_Heh. It's no wonder Yuki and Kyo are always fighting over her.'_ With her personality she attracts others naturally, even Sohmas. That is a feat in itself; our family is quite the secretive and distrustful bunch. We have to be to survive in this world. Especially with our… condition.

But, like a moth to a flame, we are all drawn to her. Momiji, Ritsu, Kisa, Hiro, Kyo, Yuki, and almost all the others have already fallen under her spell. Maybe it's our desire to be cured from our curse, or maybe it's because she has a gift for healing invisible wounds. I've seen her do it many times, over and over again.

I observed her silently from the corner of my eye, noting she looked paler than usual and that there were black lines underneath her eyes meaning a lack of sleep. Jeez, was Sensei working his maid too hard?

I frowned thoughtfully, wondering if Tohru was pushing herself to the extreme again. This girl doesn't know her own limits. She'll always do whatever she possibly can, especially if it's for another person. That's just who she is, I guess.

"You look tired. You should know better than to push yourself, Tohru." I stated, effectively tearing her out of a dreamy daze she was enthralled in.

"Wh-What?" she asked suddenly, recovering from spacing out. "Oh! I'm fine, Hatsuharu-san, really. It's just I've been working harder than my normal to pay for this month's tuition."

I stared at her, giving her a half nod. Sometimes I forget she has so much on her plate because she seems so carefree all the time.

'_Hm, maybe it's not just the Sohmas who are wearing masks.'_ I thought, narrowing my black eyes on her.

"Thank you for asking, though." She said, smiling softly.

"Hn." I moved closer, slowing my pace for a second as she looked up at me with confusion in her cerulean orbs.

I leaned down so we were eye level. "Yes, but you wouldn't want anyone worrying about you, would you?" I asked intently, poking her in the forehead lightly with my index finger.

She stuttered, blushing deeply to the roots of her hair. I smirked down at her as I straightened instantly, arching a silvery brow at her. She took a deep breath and covered her face with her hands, mumbling many unrecognizable things.

'_Yup. So Tohru.'_ I thought, relieved some things never changed. It was actually sort of… cute in a way.

"R-Right! Of course…" she said, not looking me in the eye as we walked onward.

It was then that I noticed it, looking around at the unfamiliar buildings and street signs. _'Oh crap… not again.'_ I cursed, this is not what I needed right now. Well, at least Tohru's here, she'll know where we are.

'_You really are an idiot.'_ a voice whispered harshly in the back of my mind that sounded a lot like Akito. I pushed it away. I could still distantly hear the classes' laughter and that bastard's…

'_Forget it.'_ I told myself firmly.

"Hey, Tohru..." I said, looking at her curious face with a calm expression on my own.

"I'm lost."

A few seconds ticked by as I just stared blankly at her.

Then, she laughed. It was just soft giggles at first but then erupted into a full-blown laughter. She held a delicate hand over her mouth to try and contain it all, her whole form shaking in her school girl uniform.

I blinked at her, in a shocked stupor for a few seconds. I stood there stiffly, arms hanging loosely at my sides. _'What…? She? Is she laughing at me?'_ It didn't seem possible that _Tohru_ would laugh at anyone.

But she was.

"I'm sorry… It's just so funny…" she burst into another fit of giggles.

'_What…?'_ but another emotion quickly replaced the surprise.

My vision split in two as a distorted cloud of fury flooded my mind. I let go of my sanity completely as my black side took over effortlessly- the shock of her laughing was just too great. It gave way to an angry fire burning just below the surface of my thoughts that was simmering for a very long time.

Now, I had a target: Tohru.

Sneering, I grabbed her upper arm, much to her surprise, and dragged her into the alleyway just to the side of the street we were standing on. I pushed her roughly up against the old brick wall and glared coldly at her frightened, shaken expression.

'_She has nothing to be scared of… yet.'_ I leaned in closer, making her press herself against the hard wall in reflex.

'_So, even her.'_ I thought scornfully. '_She was just like everyone else, wasn't she?'_

"What are you doing, Hatsuharu-san?!" she asked, seemingly terrified.

"Come on, Tohru. _Laugh it up._" I demanded, grasping both of her arms and pinning them to her sides in a tight, painful grip.

She let out a low whimper, staring up at me with teary blue eyes.

"_You're the dumb ox. Of course everyone laughs at you…"_

My glare intensified as shifted as close as I could without changing. "You surprise me. I thought you were different… obviously not. I don't like liars, Tohru." I said scathingly, as she just shook her head adamantly.

"No, I didn't mean…"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear your bullshit story."

"B...But I-"

I squeezed her arms as a warning and she immediately stopped talking, choking on a sob. I didn't see or hear anything, just focusing on her eyes. It was nice to finally be able to let it all out on someone, something I hadn't been able to do in a long time.

I bended down so our noses were just a centimeter away from brushing. I noticed how panic filled her eyes as I manically leered at her.

"You want to hear the _truth,_ Tohru? You're just a burden to the Sohmas, we can't stand you! I can't even imagine how Yuki, Kyo, and Sensei live with you! You're a stupid, dense, ditz."

A flash of raw pain clouded her eyes as tears ran down her face. I just laughed lowly at her, taking a sick pleasure in seeing her so hurt. It was satisfying in a way. But of course, I wasn't finished yet.

"I…I..." she began.

"You don't even know what you're talking about. So, do you think it's funny now?!" I demanded, narrowing my black eyes at her. "I don't hear you laughing, Tohru. Why?"

All she did was shudder uncontrollably as she tried to look anywhere but at me. I didn't let her go though, flexing my fingers that held her small arms. It was all too easy. But once I started, it was so hard to stop.

"You think you can cure the Sohma curse? You, who can't even support herself? We don't need you're help. You make me _sick_. Hell, your _mother_ couldn't even live with you!"

Her eyes shut tightly as she almost fell to her knees but I held her up, slightly shocked at her loss of balance. I released a sharp breath as the words I just uttered repeated in my mind. _'What did I just say?'_ I blinked, the haziness clearing from my head somewhat.

'_Wait, Maybe she doesn't…'_ a wavering voice lingered in the back of my current rush of emotions. This wasn't the right thing to do. Maybe she didn't mean it.

"Hey, what's going on?!"

I looked behind me quickly to see two guys around their mid-thirties standing there in front of the alley. I glared at them fiercely. They probably thought I was some disgusting pervert trying to take advantage of an innocent schoolgirl.

Ugh, this made me even more pissed.

"Beat it." I retorted.

"Leave her alone!" the older, braver looking one said indignantly.

"Are you going to stop me?" I asked sarcastically. "I'd like to see you try…"

"Um, I…" Tohru began but with my sharp glance instantly silenced.

Keeping my hold on Tohru secure, I faced them fully, sending them an intimidating stare as I sized them up. They were no match for me, anyway. Thankfully, they both knew it. I hated it when people tried to interfere in my fights, it was none of their goddamn business.

"Forget this!" The younger one said as he turned and ran away, disappearing around the corner.

The other hesitated, trying to make eye contact with Tohru but failed as I moved to cover her completely.

"Well?" I asked dryly.

He glared determinedly. "I'm getting the cops!" with that, he ran off as well.

'_Damn it.'_ I cursed. Two times in a day was not a good record. We have to leave now before they show up. I sighed heavily; at least now that my mental rant was stopped my mind was beginning to clear. I could already feel myself turning back into my white self again.

I looked down at Tohru again, noticing she was shaking in my hold. I could see trails of tears still running down her cheeks but she didn't make a sound. I blinked, dazed slightly as I loosened my grip on her, taking a step away.

I gasped silently as I started at her black and blue marked arms. _'I… I didn't know I was holding her that hard…'_ I shook my head, my head reeling with a heavy guilt.

'_What did I just do?'_ I thought, utterly horrified as I took another shaky step back.

"Tohru…" I began as my throat suddenly got dry.

"I didn't mean it in the way you thought I did. I realize that now." She said quietly, finally looking up again at me. Her voice was thick and overflowing with emotion.

"…I laughed at _myself_." She said earnestly, rubbing her bruised arm absently. She let out a low laugh but then stopped herself as a twinge of fear flashed in her clear blue eyes.

That alone drove an icy dagger of guilt and regret into my chest.

"I thought it was funny that, even though I take this route everyday coming back from work, I still managed to get lost. I was distracted though… you did kind of distract me…" she trailed off unsurely.

It felt as though my stomach was made of lead as she went on. "My mom says if you ever make a mistake you should laugh it off. You know, she always believed you should never take life too seriously. To just laugh at mistakes because that's all they are- _mistakes_." She replied with a sad, serene smile on her face.

"I… I'm sorry if you thought I was laughing at you. I would never be so cruel." She sniffed, wiping her eyes as she stared up at me, half flinching as if expecting me to attack her or something.

"I…" I started, furthering the distance from us because I knew she was still scared.

Then I heard a lot of shouting from on the street and the sounds of feet pounding on pavement at a rapid pace.

"Hey, he's over there! Some white-haired jerk was assaulting a poor girl!" I heard a voice cry.

'_This is just getting worse and worse…'_ I thought, looking at the uncharacteristically silent Tohru who had her brown bangs covering her eyes. She refused to meet my gaze as I felt another acute pang of horrid guilt.

'_I am a monster…'_ I thought self-loathingly. But there was no time to dwell on it now, not with cops after me… again.

"Tohru, we got to get out of here, _now_." I said hurriedly, gently touching her shoulder.

All she did was nod in consent, not saying a word. She turned and quickly ran down the alleyway, with me at her heels. I could hear the angry shouting in back of us but I didn't dare look back as we made our way into the crowded streets.

'_We'll lose those cops in the crowds of people.'_ I thought hopefully, following a determined Tohru. Maybe she knew where she was going now; she seemed to be heading in some sort of thought out direction.

I was finally recognizing the area around us as we made our way into the beginnings of the woods surrounding the Sohma property that Sensei owned. We slowed our pace to just walking quietly as neither of us said anything.

'_What am I supposed to say? I went black and attacked her.'_ I knew what I did. I took all my anger out on her, tearing into all of the vulnerable spots I knew would hurt her most.

I was good at that, picking apart someone's weak spots. It was easier to see other's weaknesses than my own. I sighed, wondering if I ever could even begin to apologize to Tohru.

_"...Hell, your mother couldn't even live with you!"_

'_I always mess things up.'_ Things will never change.

The city disappeared through the tick trees as she suddenly stopped altogether, turning around to face me but did not look me in the eye. I could still see the shiny stain of tears on her cheeks. My chest constricted as I too stared at the dirt path. I didn't want to see her expression, either.

"I can get home by myself now, Hatsuharu-san. T…Thank you for walking me this far." She said slowly, tugging on the edge of her skirt in a nervous manner.

"Listen, Tohru…" I started, running a hand through my white-black hair absently, trying to find the right words. "I'm sorry."

"I know."

I looked up to see a small smile on her face. The effect was lessened by the tears that still welled up in her crystal eyes but it was a smile all the same.

Her saying that just made the guilt worse. I cringed and looked away, not being able to see her that way. _'It's my entire fault.'_ She'll never act the same towards me again. I know it.

"Today, I went black against my teacher. He… reminded me of something that is one of my worst vices. I… just took my anger out on you. I didn't mean anything I said, Tohru. I think you keep everyone together, you know?"

"It's okay, really Hatsuharu-san." She nodded, but I could tell it wasn't. My hurtful words must have opened an old, sore wound. But that's why I said it in the first place, wasn't it?

"I'll walk you home, we're close anyway." I responded, knowing my words no longer had any positive effect on her.

'_It's already too late.'_ I know how easy it is for pain to take root deep inside yourself. She just always hides it with that smile of hers. I never hated myself as much as I do in this moment…

We walked silently as my mind raced with words to say, anything. But nothing came up… I never was good at fixing things, just making things worse. I literally destroyed the one person who doesn't have a mean bone in her body, all because of my own problems.

'_God, I'm such an asshole.'_ I couldn't even do anything about it. Why do I have to be this way?

'_You're just mad because your teacher and Akito are right.'_ That traitorous voice in my mind maliciously spoke out.

This time, I said nothing to deny it. It was true, after all.

We reached the Sohma property, finally. I walked her up to the front door as she awkwardly looked up at me. I stared blankly at her as we just stood there for a few seconds, locked in the moment.

I avoided looking at her arms (driving another sharp pang inside me), and forced myself to look her directly into her clear, ocean-like eyes. They usually reflected all of the things she was feeling but now, they seemed strangely empty and hollow. I cursed myself for the millionth time.

"I really am sorry for misleading you." She said softly.

"Tohru, please don't say that." I gritted out.

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't apologize, whatever you do- never apologize to me again. You can say whatever you want. I'll never… do that to you again, I swear." I said, shaking my head.

"Um, okay." She gave me another smile cloaked in sadness. "But is there anything I can do to make it better?" she asked weakly, a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

'_Maybe it's her this time that needs a distraction this time.'_ I thought as an idea popped inside my head, along with the usual warning bells. Still, I don't want to leave her while she's thinking about what I said… I need her to forget it, by any means possible. This idea did sound like a pretty good distraction- for the both of us.

"Yeah… maybe there is." I said, nodding to her as she blinked curiously.

Grabbing her chin very lightly, I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. I lingered a bit longer than I expected to, the warmth spreading through my veins. It was just like I imagined it would be- soft and comforting, the pure essence of Tohru. I pulled by quickly, hoping I didn't really offend her.

'_That may have been a dumb, selfish idea but it was the best I could come up with.' _I have to admit it did send a spark of heat through me.

I grinned at her shocked, dazed expression. "Your first kiss will suffice."

"Wha…Wha, I… did- did you just…" she squeaked out, wide eyed.

I stole a sharp look over to the window where I saw the curtains rustle. _'Was that Sensei…?' Hmm… better get out of here before Kyo and Yuki come running out to defend Tohru's purity._' I smirked down at her flushed face, happy I got her mind off what had happened. I turned, walking down the path as I waved to her in farewell.

"I'll see you later, Tohru." I shoved my hands into my coat pockets, the same calm mask back on me.

"But, Hatsuharu-san!" she called out.

"Call me Haru." I said simply, turning around slightly to give her one last meaningful look.

'_I won't ever reveal my demons to her again.'_ I thought fiercely. _'Never again…' _I would only taint her with the sins of my ugly, true self. It's bad enough I inflict pain on the people I already know. Tohru doesn't deserve it, no one does. I already have seen so many people broken over just a few words… I don't want her spirit to die as well. Not like mine.

'_Not Tohru.'_

Those blue eyes cut right through me.

Maybe one day… when I'm able to face my black self and _win_. But until that day…

"I'm sorry, Tohru."

I walked away.

………………

**A/N**

**So, what did you think?! I've have this idea for such a long time, I'm relieved I finally posted it. I'm thinking of whether or not I should make a sequel, I guess that depends if this is popular or not.**

**Well, please review!**

**-twitchy**


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